September 27, 2007
An elder was talking to his grandson. “Sometimes I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart,” said the old man. “One wolf is vengeaful, angry, and violent. The other wolf is loving and compassionate.” The grandson asked, “Which wolf will win the fight, grandfather?” The old man answered: “The one I feed.”
In the intense atmosphere of retreat, normal reactions get magnified. On a recent retreat with Ken McLeod I was feeling depressed and bitchy — bitchy, because things weren't happening the way I thought they should; depressed, because I hate being bitchy.
I went to Ken and asked him how to work with this, expecting careful instruction on how to rest with the emotions, do some special transformation practice, or use the emotions themselves as meditation objects.
Instead, he told me the story above, and then said, "Don't feed the bitch."